taking fire

I’m back with a vengeance folks.

So I sent Aaron this email which I knew he’d find funny and he replied saying it was good TF material. The thought of posting it had never crossed my mind so blame him for this childish nonsense. If you start reading it and don’t find it funny then stop and go and do something else as the humour certainly does not improve any.

What follows is an exact email thread conducted yesterday by me and some former work colleagues, all professionals in the IT sector.

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From: Stuart
Sent: 12 February 2009 10:53
Subject: amusing

As you know I work for Hot______s. As you can imagine they have silly names for all their database users, stuff like HOT_ADMIN, HOT_MAIL, HOT_USER, etc. A user just came over yesterday asking about missing privileges when trying to compile a package. J (my boss), the user and I were discussing it and I asked what his username was. J then said, “It’s HOT_LOAD.”

As you can imagine I lowered my head and attempted to stifle my laughter. Then she realised and repeated it quite loudly, “Hot Load, ha ha ha”.

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From: Leo
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:05
Subject: RE: amusing

Have you got a HOT_C0CK?

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From: Jonathan
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:05
Subject: RE: amusing

Surely a HOT_DUMP?

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From: Stuart
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:29
Subject: RE: amusing

HOT_DUMP should definitely be in use somewhere. I think we might actually have HOT_RELEASE too, ha ha ha.

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From: Paul
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:38
Subject: RE: amusing

How about HOT_ORA-00942_TABLE_OR_VIEW_DOES_NOT_EXIST…

I’ve not really got the hang of this, have I?

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From: Leo
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:40
Subject: RE: amusing

How about a HOT_NUN?

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From: Richard
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:42
Subject: RE: amusing

HOT_JUAN? … sorry, had to join in .. this is quality stuff!

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From: Jonathan
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:42
Subject: RE: amusing

HOT_TUB!

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From: Stewart
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:43
Subject: RE: amusing

HOT_POTATO, HOT_POTATO

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From: Richard
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:45
Subject: RE: amusing

Missed the ‘E’ off that?

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From: Leo
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:46
Subject: RE: amusing

No e in potato. Just potatoes.

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From: Richard
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:49
Subject: RE: amusing

I’ll never make President… Al Gore … anyone? Just me then …

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From: Stuart
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:49
Subject: RE: amusing

It was Dan Quayle who couldn’t spell potato.

http://www.capitalcentury.com/1992.html

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From: Paul
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:50
Subject: RE: amusing

Potatoe, Al Gore…

Do you want to go for the hat-trick “The Boy”?

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From: Stuart Low
Sent: 12 February 2009 11:51
Subject: RE: amusing

We should call him The Buoy from now on.

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From: Stuart
Sent: 12 February 2009 16:18
Subject: RE: amusing

Actually, I might have overlooked the funniest bit of the story. The guy had privilege problems with HOT_LOAD and the DBA in India created a role which needed to be granted to the user. He called the role BASIC.

So we granted BASIC to HOT_LOAD. Maybe I should create a role called MONSTROUS and grant it to HOT_LOAD?

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From: Jonathan
Sent: 12 February 2009 16:30
Subject: RE: amusing

GUSHING?

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From: Leo
Sent: 12 February 2009 16:19
Subject: RE: amusing

THRUSTING?