1. Fudge Doughnut with creme anglaise (it’s not custard) – Greggs. These are an absolute revelation. Deep fried pastry nugget smothered in a good half-centimetre of unctuous fudgey goodness, penetrated by the hand of god and injected with dribbly manna. Should come with a government health warning.
2. Stromboli – Valvona and Crolla. Sorta the same as above but you can’t be seen wandering into my work with a Greggs bag too much or folks will think you’re a mink. Posh italian doughnut. Slightly denser, less icing. Lovely with a cup of tea.
3. Chocolate brownie – Boots. Oh my Jesus Christ, if you haven’t tasted these, you must. I’ve never had a better fudge brownie in my life. Crisp on the top with glorious chocolatey cobbles strewn over. You can fit a whole one in your mouth. Just. After doing so I get the Lazy Eye of Ecstasy as perfectly demonstrated by Antoine De Caunnes when Lolo used to sit on his lap during Eurotrash.
4. Bakewell Tart – M&S. The only condition under which I will ever eat almonds. Crisp, delicate pastry (its so hard to get that right), jammy perfection and that marzipany sponge stuff. I hate marzipan, but this is splendid, perversely.
15-Jul-07 at 2:59 pm | Permalink
My Favourite Poos
1. Unctuous fudgey consistency and colour, but studded with corn niblets. These are an absolute revelation. I’d eaten corn on the cob that day, but you can get a similar effect from Teco Spicy Beanburgers. Should come with a government health warning.
2. A leisurely set of simple monkey fingers. Sorta the same as above but without the distraction and fuss of undigested matter. Looks like posh italian pastries, but slightly denser. Leisurely delivery best enjoyed with a cup of tea.
3. Chocolate brownie – Crisp, slightly abrasive to the ringpiece with glorious chocolatey cobbles for your added pleasure. You can release a whole one intact – with no crimping. Just. After doing so I get the Lazy Eye of Ecstasy.
4. One day I ate nothing but kimchi ramen and tomato juice. The next morning, I did a scarlet poo. I thought I had bowel cancer! I hate cancer, but this was splendid, perversely. It was not only an aesthetically powerful vision, but I had a brief taste of my own mortality before I realised there was a simple explanation for the hue of my poo.
15-Jul-07 at 5:38 pm | Permalink
Excellent! Poo talk! It has got to be my favourite topic.
I am obsessed with my poo, how many times a day I go, what’s its consistency, colour… I’m especially bad when I’m away from home, because I have the curse of not being able to poo if I’ve not been acquainted to the loo sufficiently long enough.
Poo facts:
- A healthy poo should come out without any hard pushing going on, it will roughly have the shape and size of a banana and a milk chocolatey colour.
- In order to reach the goal of producing a healthy poo, you should include plenty of fibre in your diet (found in fruit, vegetables, whole grains) and drink plenty of water.
- You should do one big poo a day at least, smaller poops are also allowed thereafter.
16-Jul-07 at 9:57 am | Permalink
yuck yuck
16-Jul-07 at 11:27 am | Permalink
Huff.
16-Jul-07 at 6:53 pm | Permalink
*splutter*
20-Jul-07 at 12:29 pm | Permalink
> Lazy Eye of Ecstasy
Funny.
> My Favourite Poos
Lols, nice work.
> yuck yuck
Disgust or laughter? Discuss.
> Poo talk
Perhaps there’s scope for a dedicated blog Nat?
29-Jul-07 at 9:45 pm | Permalink
We are now google hit #6 for “healthy poo.”
This website used to be good.
30-Jul-07 at 5:26 pm | Permalink
We are now google hit #6 for “healthy poo.”
Really? Well we should charge people cost per clicks for my good advice, it could go towards funding a kitty for drinks or something useful like that.
30-Jul-07 at 8:33 pm | Permalink
My friend dun a cool page about poos. Good for coffee breaks.
01-Aug-07 at 3:07 pm | Permalink
> page about poos
Hilarious. Some significant sexual deviancy in there as well – bonus.
17-Aug-07 at 10:29 am | Permalink
> A healthy poo should come out without any hard pushing going on, it will roughly have the shape and size of a banana and a milk chocolatey colour.
Sounds just like the ones I do on Sunday lunchtimes.
25-Oct-07 at 10:01 pm | Permalink
This thread continues to generate a long stool of google hits, today from someone searching for, “why is my poo 2 colours?”