Couple of quick ouchy things today since I’m as busy as a street entertainer juggling burning chainsaws while a small dedicated band of toddlers punch him repeatedly in the testes.
We all get curious about other people. Their strange customs; their rancid faces; their unappealing odours. As children we can easily point and ask, “Uncle Roger, why does that man get to ride around in a lazy chair?” without fear of being reviled.
As adults, how can we exercise this simple curiousity without causing offence? Why… at the Y? Forums. Frightening, funny and (occasionally) informative, all at the same time. Example: Why do my Indian co-workers smell?
If that’s not physical enough for you, I suggest you learn a new niche sexual practice – ball busting. SFW, but amazingly not a joke. Simply reading Method 3 can induce paroxysms of imagined agony.
Still not enough? Time for the scissors in the crotch.
22-Oct-04 at 3:02 pm | Permalink
“WARNING!! THIS TECHNIQUE CAN PUT VIRTUALLY ALL YOUR WEIGHT DIRECTLY UPON YOUR NUTS!”
Oh my. Poor gonads. Not that I need them for very much, anyway. Off to the workshop vice for some exquisite pain…
22-Oct-04 at 11:23 pm | Permalink
After the events of tonight, I can say that I would have preferred being stabbed in the balls with scissors to having to watch ‘Aliens vs Predator’ again. Don’t watch it, kids. Hate. Hate. Fuck. Bastards. No. Poor. Shit. Fuck. Bad. Bad. Urgh.
25-Oct-04 at 1:09 pm | Permalink
Are you now becoming concerned about sweating out asparagus and cous-cous?
26-Oct-04 at 1:05 pm | Permalink
> AvP
Ah, a terrible shame *shakes head*
I’m sure the U-rated sequel Alien vs. Predator 2: Enter the Ewoks will restore credibility though.
> asparagus
It can be a problem.
I find that caviar-braided jackets of albino rabbit bathed in mandrake jus with unicorn-liver pate in particular can be murder the next day.
26-Oct-04 at 3:18 pm | Permalink
Fuck the Ewoks! I want the sequel to skip a generation and go straight to Jar Jar Binks. That would be BRILLIANT!!! Or the same as Ewan Bremner in the first one.
27-Oct-04 at 9:36 am | Permalink
> Ewan Bremner
Check out his latest film project by the way: the sweeping period epic Farmers on E.
Textbook.
> Fuck the Ewoks
Now that’s another film I’d like to see.