So, i’m walking home from the pub last night, relishing the fact that for the first time in a week It’s not raining heavily enough to take your skin off, and the air isn’t so thick that you feel like you’re wading through porridge in vietnam. Somewhat drunken.. Accross the road, towards the underpass that leads toward my house.
There’s two homeless people. Fighting. A man and.. Hold on, they’re not fighting at all..! The guy is wearing the trademark army surplus jacket, and a pair of filthy tracksuit bottoms. Except they’re around the tops of his thighs, and his bare arse is on show to the world. I can’t go any other way now. I have to pass them. I can see the girl looking at me underneath this guys undulating torso, as I realise with a rising feeling of disgust that they’re completely going for it, hammer and tongs.
So as i’m scuttling past, the guy yelps something that will stay with me until the day I die:
‘Uhh… Goin.. Tae.. Blow… Ma… MUCK!’
One year left in dundee, and counting.
13-Aug-04 at 10:56 pm | Permalink
Fucking classic. Only in Dundee – such wonderful people.
14-Aug-04 at 2:46 am | Permalink
Oh that’s fucking awful!
15-Aug-04 at 9:43 pm | Permalink
You have no idea…
On my first night out in Dundee I was out with a couple of friends, passing the infamous Mardi Gras, when I saw a fairly portly woman lying face down on the pavement, moaning. Fuck, thought I. She’s been mugged or something. Off I dashed to where she was, mobile phone in hand, ready to call the national guard.
That was of course until I got to within 20ft of her, and noticed this stream of piss making its way towards the gutter… She looked at me rabbit in the headlights stylee, mumbled something about goin tae the mardi, struggled to her feet, and staggered off. Classy. Bet she pulled.
*So* many stories like that. Post watershed Eerie Indiana, so it is.
16-Aug-04 at 9:26 am | Permalink
You’ll be glad to know that the glorious muck-related warcry was given voice several times over the weekend, in enthusiastically strained tones.
16-Aug-04 at 11:03 am | Permalink
I can only imagine!